Rethinking the Sayings We Grew Up With
Written by Danika Desforges-Bell
Rethinking the Sayings We Grew Up With
A Counsellor’s Take on 10 Familiar Phrases
Language shapes how we think — about ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us. And while sayings like “Practice makes perfect” or “What goes around comes around” might seem harmless or even wise, they often carry assumptions that can feel rigid, unrealistic, or overly moralistic when taken at face value.
As a clinical counsellor, I often find myself gently reworking these phrases with clients — not to dismiss them, but to invite more nuance, self-compassion, and flexibility into the conversation.
Here are 10 familiar sayings… and how I’ve come to reframe them in my practice:
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1. “Practice makes perfect”
→ Practice makes better… most of the time.
Perfection isn’t the goal — growth is. Progress is rarely linear, and “better” looks different for everyone.
2. Actions speak louder than words”
→ … and words (especially apologies) are still important.
Yes, actions matter — but words carry meaning too, especially in moments of repair and reconnection.
3. The early bird catches the worm”
→ Different birds catch different worms.
There’s no one-size-fits-all success story. We each have our own rhythms, timelines, and needs.
4. Don’t judge a book by its cover”
→ Don’t only judge a book by its cover… read the insert too!
First impressions aren’t everything — but they’re also not nothing. Curiosity is key.
5. Rome wasn’t built in a day”
→ Actually really like this one!
Some things do take time — and that’s okay.
6. When there’s a will, there’s a way”
→ When there’s a will, you might find a way… or find something else along the way!
Determination is powerful, but so is adaptability. Sometimes what we discover on the journey matters more than the original goal.
7. You reap what you sow”
→ … and there’s often room for repair.
Consequences are real — but so is growth, and the chance to try again.
8. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”
→ If it ain’t broke, it might need healing instead of fixing.
Not everything has to be “broken” to need attention, reflection, or care.
9. What goes around comes around”
→ What goes around sometimes comes back around… not in the way you might think or expect.
Life isn’t always fair or predictable. Karma is rarely neat — but meaning can still be made.
10. All good things must come to an end”
→ Many good things evolve or shift.
Endings are real — but so are transitions, transformations, and new beginnings.
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We don’t have to throw out old wisdom entirely — but we can hold it more gently. By making space for complexity and compassion, we allow ourselves to move through life with more understanding, both for ourselves and others.
Which of these sayings resonated with you most?
Feel free to share your thoughts or reframe your own!
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Looking for more reflections like this? Check out other recent blog posts here or reach out if you’d like to explore these themes in a session.
As mental health counsellor, I work with children, families, and adults in a non-judgemental, warm, and welcoming environment. As a key member of the C’est La Vie Wellness team, I work collaboratively with our naturopathic doctor, nutritionists, life coaches, etc. I support my clients with concrete tools and coping strategies to achieve their goals and support them through personal challenges.